Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Friday, February 15, 2008

useless science facts

Speleology is the study of Caves

Marie Curie, the Nobel prize winning scientist who discovered radium, died on 4 July 1934 of radiation poisoning.

No matter its size or thickness, no piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

To 'crack' a whip, the tip must be travelling faster than the speed of sound.

Alcohol is added to soap to make it clear.

According to an old English system of time units, a moment is one and a half minutes.

For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off.

The billionth digit of pi is 9

Salt is the only rock humans can eat

If you add up the numbers1-100 consecutively (1+2+3+4+5 etc) the total is 5050

If each count were one second long, it would take about twelve days to count to a million and thirty-two years to count to a billion.

Each square inch of human skin consists of twenty feet of blood vessels.

The two lines that connect your top lip to the bottom of your nose are known as the philtrum

A normal rain drop falls at about 7 miles per hour

Human hair is estimated to grow at 0.00000001 miles per hour.

An enneahedron is solid with nine faces.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Anger management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to
call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and
hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and
put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills
or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar
with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for
that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his
back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole,
too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said,
"Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said,
"Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd in Ontario. It's a yellow house, and the
car's parked right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said,
"My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, can I
tell you something?" He said, "Yes?" I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. When I came up
with an idea. I called asshole #1. He said, "Hello."I said, "You're an
asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I
said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He
asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah?
Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. in
Ontario, a yellow house, I have a black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung
up.

Then I called Asshole #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole," He
yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He
exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your
chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called
the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd. in Ontario and that I
was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
Blvd. in Ontario.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Ontario. I got there just in
time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of
six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better!!

Anger management really does work!!!!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Monday, November 12, 2007

Tuesday, October 23, 2007